I just wanted something to believe in for once,” I say, looking into some distance I didn’t even know that I was looking at. “I know exactly how...that feels, more than you know. You’ve got no support, no trust, no one to turn to, you just want something you can believe in, put all your trust and heart into. Believe me, it’s as vital as the heart. Some people can go through life without needing faith or something like that, but people like us, it’s just…” “Immeasurable,” I finish his sentence,. ” I stare at her in shock and say, “You can't be my cousin Samantha. Last I heard, she was married to a sheep farmer in Europe.” She gave me a sly grin and replied, “Oh yes, my sweet cousin, it is me Samantha. I did marry a sheep farmer but that got old fast and I decided it wasn't for me. I got divorced, went to a spa for a makeover then travelled the world to find myself.” I couldn't help but stare. The last time I had seen her we had been average looking sixteen year old girls. We had been. She says I only have one problem with your body, it has too much hair on it ! I say I m sorry , but as I finish saying this she hits my ass hard with a small strap and tells me to shut up, she didn't give me permission to speak ! My ass is on fire but I dare not move or she will hit me some more. She then gets off the bed and tells me to follow her ,but I must crawl on all four like a dog. She go s into the bath room and as I enter I see she is getting out shaving cream and razors . She. I want to try playing with it. The girls at school said you put it into your privates and then move it up and down. I will try soon.”I couldn’t believe what I was reading, Lauren was a tiny young girl and has only just started to explore her body, with puberty kicking in and her need for answer she was taking things into her own hands. All the while all I could think about is that I knew if I did anything she wouldn’t know or understand what it all meant anyway. I could get away with it.
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