As soon as the door closed, the frogs and cicadas must have figured it was safe to resume their midnight swamp symphony. I pressed myself against a f...r wall, if you could even call it a wall, the ends of sticks and a few leaves protruding against my back. A beetle dropped from the ceiling and onto my shoulder. I didn’t bother flicking it away. My lips trembled, and I am not embarrassed to admit, I was on the verge of tears. The possibility of being eaten alive by the most beautiful girl in the. I’m not gonna run out and tell the whole world.”“You better not,” he winked. “Maybe a drink will loosen me up. All I have is hooch. I brew it myself. Have a little with me?”“Well…”“I know you’re a lightweight. You already said as much. I won’t get you drunk. I’ve got some juice you can mix it with to ease the load.”Shah took a deep, exaggerated breath. “Yeah!”“Be right back!”Dave came back with a carafe of clear liquid and two glasses. Then he fetched a half gallon of cranberry juice. “Here,. Will you...just....do...it?" What?" I asked, nose wrinkling and eyebrow raising "On your face like?" PLEASE!!"Giggling, and somewhat red-faced, I made a promise I would. My, this was a strange one I thought but before long I was making sure I was eating all the don'ts on my IBS list before meeting up with Craig just so I had plenty of gas in the tank!In the end, Craig and I split up. But it wasn't long before I learnt that he wasn't alone in this fart fetish I once found so weird. ALL the men I. ‘And you are here this morning, as she has apparently refused this…request.’ He seemed relieved I had made any comment at all. ‘Aye, an she has relegated me to tha gardeners cottage, not allowed to ‘mix with the cultured elements of society’ for the ‘seeable future, that which I cannah at this time fathom the days, weeks, or months it mighten actually represent.’ There was no response to this that I could bring to mind. He was, as the common man were wont to say, in the doghouse. Only in this.
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